Saturday, October 20, 2007
Good Morning Everyone! I'm looking forward to this morning's chat. Just jump into the comments and say hello. The chat group is really an open house where you can come and go as you please and talk with me or any of the other ladies who are commenting. If the room is quiet for a minute or two, I'll be right back. I'm probably grabbing more coffee.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Average women do not go through months of paperwork, have their blood tested, have their home inspected, have their children interviewed, supply every private detail about their family in order to bring home a child from another country. Average women do not wait for months and months on end for a baby, holding onto a dream and praying for their miracle. Average women don't reach out and comfort and support the many ahead of them and behind them on a road that is rocky and uncertain. None of us are average women. Each of us is stronger than we know. We can do this and we will.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Thursday is Tyler's 12th birthday. He is my dream come true, my soul outside of my body, the holder of my heart.
When I was 9 weeks pregnant with Tyler, 30% percent of my placenta tore away from the inside of my uterus. I rushed to the hospital. I was coldly sent from one end of the hospital to the other. I was hooked up to an ultra sound machine and told that my baby was still alive, but would die sometime within the next few days. Go home and let nature take its course is what I was told. All I could think about was that my baby was dying inside of me.
I went home and waited, waited for my baby to die. After 2 weeks of waiting and bleeding, one of my best friends, who was my boss at the time, put me on bedrest. She told me to lay on the couch with my feet up and disregard what the doctor was saying. I laid on the couch and after a couple of days, the bleeding started slowing down.
I picked up the phone and I called the labor and delivery room at the hospital where I had delivered Zach. I spoke to a nurse and I told her my story. I asked her which doctor she would send me to if I was her daughter. She gave me a name. I called and the woman on the other end became my son's saving grace. She agreed to take me if I could get my own records to her because it wasn't protocol to take someone else's patient mid-term. I went to see her and she told me that things didn't look good, but that we would do whatever could be done.
I went to see my doctor every week to look for a heartbeat to see if he was still alive. Each week I would lie on the table with tears rolling down my face waiting to see if he was still with me. Each time alone because my ex-husband always had something else to do. I felt so afraid, but my doctor was a huge source of positive energy and strength. One week it took over half of an hour to find the heartbeat. I was sobbing, but she never gave up and finally was able to find it.
Tyler was born at 38 weeks, perfectly healthy, perfectly beautiful. We hugged each other and cried when she came to see me after the delivery. I still see the same doctor. She is more than a friend. I know that if it wasn't for her, my son would have died.
His birthdays are so precious to me. I am so grateful to God that my boy is here. His personality is the same as mine. I can always understand him, I always know what he is thinking and feeling. That is why I say that he carries a piece of my soul with him.