THE SEVENTH DIAMOND

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Look Within...


Average women do not go through months of paperwork, have their blood tested, have their home inspected, have their children interviewed, supply every private detail about their family in order to bring home a child from another country. Average women do not wait for months and months on end for a baby, holding onto a dream and praying for their miracle. Average women don't reach out and comfort and support the many ahead of them and behind them on a road that is rocky and uncertain. None of us are average women. Each of us is stronger than we know. We can do this and we will.

37 comments:

Truly Blessed said...

Wow. We are EXTRORDINARY women!

Thanks for the reminder!

Have a wonderful weekend. Katie and I hope to see you in Church Sunday (the boys will be at their uncles and I'll have my two nieces with me).

Nancy said...

I am so happy to hear that I am not average.
I agree with Truly Blessed. We are really EXTRORDINARY!!!!

jennifer said...

You're awesome! Thanks for the post!

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gail and Dan said...

Thank you for posting this,yes we CAN do this and our children are so worth waiting for!

Gail
LID 11.28.06

Mark and Rebecca said...

Beautiful post, and haunting picture of that beautiful child.

Doris & Dan said...

A wonderful reminder and it is a special kinship that we share.

Keep smilin!

secret agent said...

yes yes yes
and...........let me just add
that we non average...squeaky clean... already approved women

should not have to deal with expiring 171h's

as a social study group.....we're probably the most unnecessary to reinspect group on the planet

thanks Hague..... really looking out for kids wellbeing

not

secret agent said...

amy.........chill
she's just extending a kudos to the gruelling paperwork and wait
which in this china line....... is well deserved I think

perhaps I'd feel differently if I already had adopted kids.... but I don't
just waiting endlessly which is a HUGE test in patience
worried if it will ever happen

she didn't say we're "saints" for adopting
she gave us KUDOS for hanging in there with this uncertainty

amy said...

you are so wonderful and you made me tear up..Love the music..Its one of our favorite songs

heidi said...

Thanks for the words. I need a good cry.
Heidi

Christy said...

Im not average!!! Love this!! Thanks for posting this and have a great weekend!!

By the way, your chat time on Sat mornings-- is that east coast time?? If so that may be a bit difficult but I may try to get the end of it!

Christy :)

Mark & Michelle said...

Thanks!!

I needed this today!

Nikki & Larry said...

Thanks for the confident and sweet words. RMJ, are definitely N O T A V E R A G E, you my dear are far above and beyond. The enthusiasm and energy you emit through your blog is an encouragement to all of us! Thanks for always making me smile!

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

PS – Amy, with wait times extending as they are, we all need a little encouragement every now and then. She was not calling us “saints”. And yes, we all know that in the end the precious gift we will receive far outweighs the pain of the wait but the fear of the end never coming is a very daunting thought for most of us. Sometimes a few kind words can put a smile on your face, even when your heart is hurting; and right now there are a lot of hurting hearts out there. A little empathy goes a long way…

Lisa said...

Lovely, we are extraordinary. I think all mothers are. We just have to jump thru alot of hoops to be an adoptive mother. I have adopted twice. It is a long hard road sometimes. The end is so worth it. But we do have to lift each other up because this is difficult to get thru. I am having a rough time this week (with all things adoption past and present)IE..filing citzenship paperwork for my Kaz sweeties, and the waiting times for China, should we switch countries? Thanks for the lift up. I really needed it today.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

I decided to delete my comments. I think my point was lost on this group. I am sorry you have to wait so long. I've waited years for my kids too. It is hard...I'm sorry it is so hard. You are all extraordinary...but not because you are adopting...just because you always were extraordinary! Our kids do not make us special, just like we do not make them special! We are just blessed to find each other! I hope you have your children very soon.

kerri said...

We are powerful women, we should applaud ourselves and feel very empowered.
I am always telling my girls how special, powerful, amazing it is to be a girl and to be proud.
They run around singing "Askew girls, baby were the Askew girls,we can do it" (they use the tune from Diego).
I smile, laugh and look on very proud....

Dannye said...

thank you for that uplifting reminder of how very blessed we are to have such wonderful friends (even though we haven't really met, we are still connected by that red thread...and I love everyone of you!!)....

Joannah said...

Oh, Kim! You are so good! What a wonderfully inspiring post! All you waiting moms are amazingly strong. Even though my wait has officially come to a bittersweet end, I still feel like I'm waiting it out with all of you.

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

YOU ARE RIGHT!!!!!
WE ARE EXTRORDINARY......
Love the song....
And just for the record...
I am glad I have met you...
you help keep us going...
Hugs girly..
Kim

The Shocks said...

It does take a special womam to do this. People just don't get it sometimes.

LINDA said...

thanx for the instructions...that was very nice of you. i love your most recent post. it is what we all need to hear----and often. when life gets so overwhelming, this is the word we need to hear. i think i may write this down and keep it handy for just such moments.

Daniella said...

2 words - Thank you! Have a great weekend and I'm happy to have all of the amazing women on this journey to share this wait with.

Verna said...

That is so true. We are not just your regular gals. We are truly special. Thanks for the reminder.

Nov 10 works for shower for me. How bout you?

Kimber said...

More true words were never spoken! Let me tell you that you need that strength when they get home too! As I have shared it is joyful beyond beleif but challenging too! Have a blessed weekend sweet woman!

We are heading to DC to meet another family I met while waiting on RQ!

GWEN OATSVALL said...

I see so deep into those eyes of that child ... you are right, once on this journey we are kindred sisters, who will walk this journey, fight all the emotional pain, triumph together, pray together, and never leave each others side !!!!No matter where you are in the journey you are never alone !!!

LINDA said...

My daughter is Sara at Our Party Of 5. Her LID is 4-30-2007. I know that this is very early in the process and we have a long wait ahead. We are ALL excited and determined and keeping a positive attitude. Sara was a miracle to me--I'd had a tubal ligation in August and she was born the following April. We are all definitely anti-abortion and pro-adoption. I am waiting for her miracle to come for her family....

Jeff and Michelle said...

That is beautiful. I don't think the average person understands what we, as adoptive parents go through. There are many blessings along the way too, like finding such a supportive group of friends in blogland!

Anonymous said...

noone who is on this journey is average. just the compassion and friendship that is offered in this community is amazing. you are all way above average, with so much love and faith it just shines through even in the hard times. someone is always there to pick you up. i'm glad my daughter has this community to help her thru the long wait for her daughter. thanks rmj for pointing out how special you all are...linda

Kimi said...

I have noticed over the period of time I have been reading your blog, that you are such an encouragement to so many people. I can tell you have a servants heart and you truly care and love people. You are an amazing person!

Janet said...

AMEN!

hausfrau said...

refreshing.

Amy said...

Ok Kim, I have been bothered by this post all night. I am finally able to put into words why it bothers me. I know the trip is hard, and you are only trying to encourage all those making this journey. I have no problem with that. It's just this bitching about "average" people did not need to go to all this trouble stuff I don't like. Please hear my heart here. I have been there and back. I am no saint...I am "average". I have way too many people trying to tell me we are so extra special to do this. They put us up on this pedestal and in the same breath disqualify themselves from having to take the trip. I know most everyone reading your blog is in the middle of the journey. They are already committed. You only want to encourage them and yourself. I am here looking at the millions of kids still waiting for families. My heart bleeds for these kids. I have met them personally. I want people to know you do not need to be extraordinary to make this journey; you just need to be willing to start. There are not enough super people to meet the needs of all those waiting children...we need average folks willing to just try! Please Kim, I love you sister...does this make any sense? Please try to encourage people to keep up the good fight without making it sound like only the super humans make the trip! We need more people to make this trip!

Carolyn said...

Hmm... I think I might be with Amy on this- although I missed her original post.

RMJ, I agree that anyone who puts up with the inconveniences of the process to complete an international adoption has to have a level of committment that many families just don't have. So, maybe we're above average in having that committment or passion to bring our children home. BUT- I don't think that this makes us exceptionally different from many other people who go to great lengths for their families. E.g., I have a friend with 3 children who through her 2nd pregnancy threw up 10-20 times each day until she gave birth. With her 3rd child, she ended up having to go on complete bedrest until her daughter was born. Now, that's committment! I guess we all just do what we have to do, don't we?

I get a little bothered by comments I get in the supermarket like "Oh, that's such a good thing you did" or "I could never do that" when referring to the fact that we have adopted. Yes, it was a good thing- it was a GREAT thing! But so was giving birth to my two daughters. And I've never had someone look at one of them and say "that's such a great thing you did"!

I know we're probably on the same page here, but I think we want to be careful, as adoptive parents, not to think that having adopted gives us some status above other parents- which is a sentiment that I get from some people in the adoption community. But not from you! It's just that your post could be interpreted in this way.

Steffie B. said...

Bravo girl! ;)

redmaryjanes said...

Well, I guess I'm going to have to reply here. I try to keep things postive, motivating but realistic on this blog. I have read the post repeatedly and I don't understand how it could be interpreted as 'bitching' about average people.
I understand and share in not appreciating people looking at us or our adoption as some type of charity that we are doing.
Please take this as gently as I mean to say it, but you are done, your children are home. You are through the process. And things right now are not the way they were several months ago. This post truly was not addressing you.
Right now the wait has become indefinite, especially for people who are not going SN. We are seeing only a handful of days being processed a month. If things keep on pace, my wait for Sophia will be five years.
People are dropping out of the program right and left. They are moving to other countries or seeking a faster path to their children.
I do think the mothers who are hanging in there right now are not average. I do think it takes an incredible amount of strength and emotional courage to make the decision to stay.
Secondly, I am a bio Mom who has had difficult pregnancies, I know that road and how tough it is. But I at least had a little control there. Here I have nothing.
This post was not meant to compare bio vs. adopting Moms.
THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST is to keep us going. Those of us who are still waiting, those of us who are in pain, those of us who are facing another Christmas without our child. I know that you read other blogs, surely you have seen the sadness.
Do we need to encourage more families to adopt? Absolutely, and I think you know me well enough by now to know how important I think adoption is. I don't need to say anything more there.
But I also know that many agencies are being more realistic about wait times for China and that the number of dossiers is going down. And I admire the families who are stepping forward and are willing to take the wait and face the uncertainty, and I don't think they are 'average' in any way, shape or form.
What is your definition of 'average'?