THE SEVENTH DIAMOND

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Feeling a Little Old...And Not Liking It At All...


Yesterday I was at the store buying a couple of things for Sophia (no referral yet, just shopping). I was at the counter and my items were being rung up. The woman next to me complimented one of the outfits I was buying and asked me who it was for. I told her it was for my daughter. She looked at me kind of strangely and asked 'You are having a baby?'. The tone was not referencing the fact that I looked 'too thin' to be pregnant, the reference was very obvious to the fact that she thought I was too old.
Now, I did need a touch up on my hair color...it's true. But for heaven's sakes. I turn 40 this month, not 60. I have been coloring my hair since I was 28 (still young then right?) I am not planning to give birth at this phase of my life, but if I became pregnant...would that be outrageous? I tell you ladies, I felt like I wasn't just climbing up the hill, I was definitely 'over the hill'.
I politely explained that we were adopting a little girl from China. It seemed like that was acceptable for her, I wasn't too old for that. Maybe I should have told her I have a 3.5 year old who I bore just fine. But, I think I was too in shock and I took my bag and left for the car to look at my old self.
Needless to say...I colored my hair last night. Maybe I could start getting discounts at Bill Knapp's.

36 comments:

Truly Blessed said...

Oh. Some people just don't think before speaking. I'm sure that woman thought about what she said (and maybe how she'd said it) and felt bad afterward.

Maybe she has learned to think before she speaks (we can hope, can't we?)

FWIW, I think you look fantastic. Hey, some 59 y/o woman in France gave birth to triplets last week --

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I wouldn't take that personal... She probably didn't even know what she was doing..
You look WONDERFUL..
Have a Great Week..
Hugs..

Kim Kenward said...

(((Virtual Hugs))) to another 40 year old. I remember feeling the same way when we first came home from China in March. I've decided that my daughter is keeping me young at heart. Even better, she has been a great workout for this creaky 40 year old body.

Mommy Spice said...

I'm right there with ya!! Getting my hair colored tomorrow morning!!

LaLa said...

Girl please...you are one HOT MAMA!!! I will be 43 in January and so I know how you feel. People may start asking if I am Annslee and Coby's grandma LOL

People are RUDE anyway!! What a weird thing to ask. Get used to it though..onece Sophia gets home you will be surprise the ignorant things people will say...then Mama Bear will have to get fired up!!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

I am hitting the big 3-9 this year and have started pulling Granny Whiskers... oh no... what is next???

Carol said...

ha ha right there with you!! People look at us like we are crazy, but it's all in what you want out of life. I don't need fancy TV's and big vacations........I'll be raising children until I'm in a nursing home!!!!

mom 2 many said...

That is ok, people think my littler kids are my grandkids!! I am ONLY 3 years older than you!!! SAD I tell you!!

You are YOUNG and BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Carla

mommy24treasures said...

you know I get used to us all being forty here in adoption blog land but in the real world it seems parents are so young. I love being a parent at 40 and desire greatly to bring another baby home. I think it keeps us youthful. We will show them all:)
You are beautiful and young and so ready to do this!

Christy said...

Dont let it bug you. about 9 years ago when I was only 26 and pregnant with my oldest I was with my best friends (identical twins who are really young looking and very hot but the same age as me) who were in medical residency and they introduced me to their secretary and the secretary said "oh, you must be Laila and Laura's mom. It is so nice to meet you!" I was horrified. We are the same age and I was being mistaked for their mother-- That stuck with me for a really long time.

Obviously the woman you encountered was unaware that many woman are having babies well into their 40's nowdays and not to mention clever little things like adoption-- uggg!!1 People need to think before they respond.

Christy :)

Lori said...

Oh nonsense! She just doesn't get out much....you look terrific!!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Too old!!!! Are you kidding me?
40 is not too old to have a baby...and BTW, you look great!

I cannot believe the kind of questions people have the nerve to ask....

Lisa

Patricia/NYC said...

First of all...I'm sure this person speaks w/o thinking all of the time...and who knows what situation/circumstance she is coming from.

Second of all...my birthday was on AUg. 29th & I was in Hawaii...do you know why I was in Hawaii?? I turned 50!! LOL! I figured I had to be somewhere that never gets old! ;)

Seriously, I have learned, the actual number means NOTHING!!! We are HERE to live life, enjoy life & GIVE to others...& that my friend, is what you do!!

And...I might add...you look just FABULOUS!!! :)
HUGS!!!

Rachael said...

Oh, that's crazy. You definitely do not look older than your age -- I've seen your pictures. And LOTS of women have babies when they are older than you. So, like I said, that's crazy. You're not over that hill yet! :)

Heidi said...

Um. I'm about to be 44. Did I just say that?
I've noticed that many mom's I know are either younger or older... no one is MY age.
That having been said, a girl I saw come into this world and babysat for years, just had her 1st baby. That makes me feel old.
But what the hell. I love my kids - and they are so MINE!
Just remember, we may be older, but we also have more insurance!
:)

Paula said...

I'm sure she wasn't thinking that you are too old. Lots of women your age bear children. Just look at Nicole Kidman. Now, me thats another matter. I used to think people were looking at me like I was Hannah's grannie, but I finally realized that it was all in my head and really being a good mother has no bearing on how old you are.

Krista ~ Bits and pieces said...

From this fabulous 40 year old mom to another. Let it roll right off. Really I am a better mother at 40 than I could have ever been at 25!!!

Waiting for Mia Hope! said...

You do NOT look 40!!! I was out with Lauren and a young mom asked me if I was her mother or her grandmother. Don't you just love it? :) Have a great day!

jennifer said...

That is too funny!! You do NOT look old. I understand the feeling though - I saw a picture of me the other day and I had a zillion wrinkles. I thought I might die!!

kerri said...

43 here rounding the bend to 44,I'm seeing the lines around my eyes, yikes!!
I noticed that standing in line with Jennifer the first day of school, the rest of the Moms did look a little younger, LOL.
For the record, you look fabulous, no worries.
Glad your doing some shopping, it lifts the spirit...

Kristy said...

People just NEVERRRRR cease to amaze me!!! I think you are beautiful and I just turned 41 in July and I don't think it is anyone's dam business how old we are or if we are too old to become parents again!!! We know exactly what we are capable of!!! I work with a 23 year old girl and she asked me the other day how I was alive since I don't have ovaries anymore????? And this is the same girl that has made remarks that I am toooo old to start all over!!!! Go figure!!!

Oh and everytime I looked at the kids shirts and my post I thought of "stud" also!!! too funny!!!

Love , Kristy
p.s. From old lady to another...love ya!!!!

Diane and family said...

You guys are all babies compared to me...turn 51 this November...and, I'm proud to say my 21 year old is starting his junior year in college, my soon to be 18 year old is out getting her hair trimmed for homecoming...and, I just tucked in the younger loves of my life...my Jana Mei,8, Jadyn Hua,7...and also my JOY Hua, 4!!!

I could not be enjoying life anymore than I do...so, Kimberley...let them ask away, maybe, just maybe you will be planing the adoption seed deep into someones heart....just by their asking!!!...I SAY "BRING IT ON"!!! ; )

Diane...Mama to Joe, Jen, Jana Mei, Jadyn Hua and JOY Hua :)

Nancy said...

You're still young, beautiful, and one hot mama!!!!

Colleen said...

you are young. You are also young enough to birth a baby. I have many friends who didn't have their first until they were in their 40's.I am 44..or am I 45...no 44. I am more the normal age at my daughter's preschool. In today's world people are having their children later in life. : )

preppy little dress said...

don't take it personally, when i had my fibroid people thought i was pregnant [wishing i was] and i wasn't it! it happened all the time, b/c of the size of my fibroid. now it's gone and i don't get the comments anymore,thank god!

my husband and i are going to start looking into adoption in a year or so - we have some things to take care of first, i.e. selling our house in michigan!

good things come to those who wait, your little one will be with you before you know it!

until then, shop 'til ya drop little momma!

preppy little dress said...

btw...great blog!!!

Margaret Miracle said...

Sometimes I think people just don't think before they speak. When I first came home with Lily, I had her with me when I went to Weight Watchers one Saturday morning. The lady who was greeting everyone said, "Well Hi Granny!" I turned and looked behind me...no one was there....slowly realized she was talking to me.....said something I am not proud of and turned and left. I totally blame this woman for my current weight problem...think how much I could have lost on the WW program in the last three years....a whole person by now (LOL)! Anyway, I was 38 and CRUSHED!!!! Sadly my hair had just been dyed!!! This post just brought back memories and I had to share! Hope you smiled!

Gail said...

From someone in her very late 40's ...the 40's have been some of the best times of my life. People can be so obnoxious sometimes with their comments, I've been asked a couple of times if I'm Grace's grandma and I do what you did -- politely explain that she's my daughter.

insanemommy said...

I don't sweat it anymore. Im 47 and although in my neighborhood I am one of the older mom with twins three yea old, I have lots of friends who didn't have their first child until they were in their 40's. I still get the hairy eyeball from time to time. When I know someone is going to say something stupid I come up with a real shocker to stop them in their tracks. lol..... welcome to my world... lol..

Christie said...

Would it help if I told you I went completely grey at 18? And that if I go too long, my own husband will say to me "hmmm, looks like it's time for a dye job babe!" Hmph.

Janet said...

People can be such dopes sometimes. :-)

LINDA said...

Open mouth. Insert foot. Ignorance is bliss. Some people think their way of thinking is the only right way. You should just laugh. She is apparently close-minded or at the least, narrow minded. Just imagine how small and insignificant she must be in her life. Stupid people say stupid things. I would still be smiling in your position and shaking my head. What kind of sad life it must be...........
And as far as the old thing goes, there are many women older than you giving birth and raising children. There are grandparents raising their own grandchildren. Your hair certainly does NOT define who you are or what you are capable of. It's your spirit, your drive, your passion, your love of life.....You are so young in your heart. That's what counts.
BTW- I had a dream the other night that I gave birth to septuplets--yes, me, at my age! And I loved it!
Children are truely a gift from God.

Alyson & Ford said...

I know I have put my foot in my mouth a few times.... So I don't care if they call me Great-Granny!

You are so young and beautiful - taking care of our "selves" (body and soul), having plenty of joy and laughter; enjoying life with our daughters is all that matters.

Being over 50, it is great to hear there are plenty of older Mom's for me to commiserate with!! We are young at heart and the best is yet to come!

Alyson
LID 01/27/06
Travel 09/11/08!

Steffie B. said...

Oh girl....I'm giggling....you know that you are a sexy Momma....even our hot waiter thinks so! ;) Lunch on the 15th or 17th......you pick.....I'll buy! ;)
Love you,
Steffie

OH MY #6 said...

what a nasty way to ruin a fun shopping trip!

Lea
xo

Mardi said...

oh gosh, some people. You look marvelous!! Truly! Words sure can hurt sometimes though.