This Christmas is so very special to me. This is the first Christmas in over three years where our family is complete. No one is missing. Our daughter is home. After over three long heartbreaking years....my baby is home for Christmas.
When we put up our Christmas tree, each child has ornaments that belong exclusively to them. I add to each of their collections every year. Three years ago I held Sophia's first ornament in my hand and through my tears, placed it on the tree. I did not believe at the time that she had been born yet, but she was alive...a baby in China.
I placed my order for 2007. The ornament held great significance to me. Believe. I had to keep believing that my daughter was out there somewhere. That year I knew she was alive, I knew she was waiting in China. We were hitting road block after road block. The wait time was getting longer, we weren't allowed into the SN program until our LID was through review. I was in tears when I opened the box and saw the word 'Believe'. I put it on the tree, my second Christmas without my daughter. I prayed that she was warm, that she had a blanket and adequate food. I prayed that God would send someone to smile at her and pick her up.
Christmas 2008, we had hope. We were actively reviewing SN files. Our daughter was near, we just didn't know it. I placed another ornament on the tree. Eli and I prayed that God would send angels to keep his sister safe and to tell her that we loved her. I knew without a doubt that my daughter was alive and that I just needed to find her. I was begging God to bring our daughter to us.
Christmas 2009, I sat on the couch in front of our tree with tears pouring down my face as I took out three ornaments and handed them to my daughter. Choking back sobs, I watched her place them on the tree for the first time. My husband and sons just stood in silence and watched. There were no words, just an understanding of the impact of that moment. I thanked God that my baby was home.
TO YOU WHO WAIT....They say that you forget once they place your child in your arms. My daughter has been home since July and I have not forgotten. I have not forgotten the pain and the worry and the hole in my soul that only my daughter could fill. The anguish of the wait is still etched in my heart and mind.
My heart is with you this year. I know that many of you will be placing your "Waiting for" ornaments on your trees. God Bless you and your families and your children who you have yet to find. This year I will pray for you.
40 comments:
O.K. this made me totally tear up. At work. :) I’m kind of ashamed to say I couldn’t bring myself to buy an ornament for our Sophie this year. We have 4 already(one from when we were paperchasing). At this point I can’t even venture a guess as to when we might celebrate Christmas with our daughter. It’s less painful to try not to think about it than it is to buy another ornament for her and wonder if we will ever get to see her placing them on our tree.
I am crying ... I am sooo glad that Sophia Jane is home and I can't wait to see her place the FOREVER FAMILY ornament on the tree.. it is on it's way.. promise.. should be there any day..
I have a hard time placing the ones on the tree for Isabella.. but we enjoy every one of them and wait for her.. the kids each place one of her ornaments on the tree hoping she is here next year..
I love you girly.. and can't wait till Isabella is home so I can come and visit all of you AMAZING ladies in MI...
Hugs..
What a blessed reminder, seeing your sweet girl holding the ornaments you bought during your long wait!
God is so good... His purposes prevail!!
What a beautiful post, Kimberely. I remember meeting you at the Children's Museum last year at this time. My handmade ornaments in hand..waiting and praying for your future Sophia Jane. I'm sending those same ornaments to Isabella's Mommy. Every adoptive Mommy needs something to hope for.
Merry Christmas, friend.
I so totally understand this post as I'm about to spend my 4th Christmas since my file landed in China. Every year I buy an ornament for my daughter and dream of the day when she will finally be here to make Christmas really feel as joyous as it should be. And I know I'll have many tears the day the tree goes up with her right beside me. :)
Merry Christmas to your family.
Beautiful post. I am so glad she is home with your family this year!
Beautiful.....and heartfelt post!!! I am so glad that you are no longer waiting.....I can only imagine what it felt like to see your little girl hanging those ornaments on the tree!!!
Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.
xoxo,
Lisa
Thank you so much, from someone celebrating her fourth Christmas while waiting.
Welcome home precious Sophia Jane... and Merry Christmas to you and your family. Thank You Jesus for answered prayers.
Waiting for your child is heart wrenching but by the grace of God He gets you through each day as He watches over your precious little one. No the memory does not disappear but the joy washes away the pain.
God's speed to the children waiting and their families.....
Love,
Daleea
Thank you for your beautiful and encouraging words. I will be placing a "waiting" ornament on my tree, even though we were so, so close, and I really thought we'd have Abby home for Christmas. In the midst of this incredibly frustrating wait, it is so encouraging to have others APs there to cheer us on!
What a beautiful post. I'm in tears, and so happy for you that you have your precious girl home to celebrate Christmas with, you are truly blessed. I remember waiting anxiously for my daughter to come home from Guatemala and how the month of arrival kept getting pushed back, by the grace of God we got her just before Guatemala closed it's doors to adoption. We've had her home for 2 years now and she's been such such a blessing in our family. Right now my heart aches to bring home another child. I think about it several hundred times a day, and my heart keeps leading me to special needs China. I'm so happy for you that your daughter is home in your loving arms. God bless your family.
Blessings
Awwww...so sweet. I was unpacking all my ornaments and came across all my Waiting for Malia ones...honestly I don't know what to do with them...and should I "cheat" and buy waiting for Coby ones? We are soooo happy he is a Coby of course : )
Glad your sweet girl is home.
what a beautiful and heart felt post! I am soooo glad Sophia is home and will be with you every Christmas from here on out!
~m
What a beautiful post! Praise God that your precious girl is finally home for Christmas!!!
My heart breaks for those that "wait"...the very painful "wait". Praying their precious ones are in their arms next Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Robin
I just love you, you know that?
You are one amazing Mommy.
I cried with you friend.
Those pictures are priceless.
Beautiful post... I will be watching Lauren place her "waiting for" ornaments on the tree tonight and it is just such an amazing feeling unpacking all our Christmas items and thinking back on all the Christmas' we had HOPE in our hearts that it our Daughter would be with us soon...this year she is finally here.
Isn't it perfect that the artist of those ornaments will be coming home with her daughter on Christmas Day! :)
I'm crying too. You are right, you don't forget. Every moment with them seems even more precious because of the road we traveled to reach them. I'm so happy that Sophia is home with her family this Christmas.
~Lynn
This is my 4th Christmas waiting for Maggie. It's hard to get in the spirit knowing that I still don't see an end in sight (LID 9/4/2006). Thank you for this post. Although I know that someday she will be here, and the wait will have been worth it, it still hurts.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year to you and your family!
I am so happy to see that picture of sweet Sophia Jane and her Christmas ornaments! I know that you are all going to have a wonderful and special Christmas this year!!
Oh.............What can I say but Thank you for this post. I have not been able to buy ornaments for our child each year as I could not stand the heart ache. This year though is extremely hard on me though knowing we have a son that will not be home with us for Christmas. We were to the point of totally giving up and not continuing on this journey. I have to say you always had a way of encouraging me during this time.
Thank you dear friend!!
I am so happy for you that you have your beautiful Sophie home with you to enjoy your first Christmas together. God is so good and is so faithful with his promises. We just have to have faith and patience.
Hugs,
Jody
What a sweet heart felt post. This will be our final year waiting for our daughter, I bought and extra ornament last year not realizing we would ever need another one for our tree but God knew and now we will bring our daughter home in the spring.
Sitting here crying!! Holy cow was that well stated. I think so many of us who had to wait longer than expected have that exact story in one form or another. Hearbreaking but there is hope. Beautiful!!!!
Christy :)
That's a beautiful message of hope for those families still waiting! Enjoy your Christmas!!!
Carolyn
thank you for this post.
Lea
xo
You've just spoken words that many of us feel and maybe haven't said publicly on our blogs. My heart is with those who wait and I'll wait with them until their children are home. You are so blessed to have your little girl finally home!
xo
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I'm glad your beautiful daughter is home, too.
Can't wait to see you all in church tomorrow!
From one who continues to wait...our third Christmas...thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So grateful to God for His answer to your prayers. Such joy it brings me to see Sophia Jane home where she belongs this Christmas.
With Love and Joy and Hope...
i have tears just STREAMING down my cheeks. what a beautiful post. i didn't know about the ornaments... seeing this kind of love fulfilled? well, i'm guessing there is NOTHING else you need for Christmas this year.
I know exactly what you mean....I will never forget the pain of those Christmases waiting for KAte (3 for us too) and then her 1st one home. It really is magical. I pray for all of the waiting families too. It is so hard.
Such a beautiful post, Kimberley!
I cannot imagine the moment you held your breath watching Sophia Jane place those ornaments upon the tree.
I am so happy that she is FINALLY home!
Hugs,
Dita
Oh wow, I have tears in my eyes... so happy you will all celebrate together this year! This will be Mia's 3rd Christmas home and I will never forget waiting for her...those feelings... Now, we have a "China-tree" where all of her special ornaments are hung :) It is beautiful!
I love this post Kimberley. I understand this post. The last three Christmases have been tough and this one I think will be the hardest of all for us. I haven't quite let it sink in but in the back of my head I've thought about the fact that we have our daughters picture this year, but will only be able to stare at it instead of having her here with us. I try not to think of her alone this holiday season, if I do I fall apart. Next Christmas can't get here fast enough!
Enjoy the season my friend. God has blessed you so very much!!
You made me cry, a real hard cry.
I watched AA hang ornaments this year, loving us all, and all of us loving her. Last Christmas was just too soon, learning English, still unsure. How precious these memories will always be to us new Mom's. Just wonderful. Great post.
Your love of your family is so special.
Merry Christmas!
Alyzabeth's Mommy
Totally cried my eyes out at this post. Beautiful post, beautiful picture, beautiful Sophia, beautiful family! And I couldn't agree with you more about not forgetting the wait - it was a huge part of the journey.
Hey Kim,
I haven't been around much the last few months, the wait is hard. Just wanted to say merry christmas to you and your family. I hope you have a great one.
Sophia is beautiful, you are so lucky to have such a beautiful family.
Sherri
Praying for all of these families....I know so many myself...the wait is just horrible but I know in my heart that God is in control.....just like the way He had your sweet angel waiting for you. Have the most amazing Christmas my friend.
What a Sweet and meaningful Post!! So glad your baby girl is home! Enjoy every moment this Christmas.
Thanks for this post! I am one of those still waiting...and the holidays do get harder with each passing year...hoping and praying for an SN referral in 2010!
Kimberley what a beautiful story, just beautiful. This will be Christmas #5 without Franceska. Hopefully the last. Thank you Kimberley. Merry Christmas to your gorgeous family.
Love and blessings, Kristy
crying right along with you ;)
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