THE SEVENTH DIAMOND

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Waiting...

I am being asked more and more where we are in our adoption process. I really don't know what to say. There have been a lot of roller coasters lately. Two weeks ago I thought we were close to being matched and now today I just don't know. My social worker told me she thinks we will be matched by Christmas, but I don't know how she can tell. It's a matter of when a baby comes onto the shared list that matches our checklist. I don't know when that will be, and I don't know how anyone else can really know that either.
I do know that my agency is not being aggressive at reviewing the shared list, they are only looking during US business hours, so the agencies who check at night when the CCAA is actually working have an advantage.
This up and down cycle is really starting to take a toll on us. I will be buying my 3rd 'Waiting for Sophia' Christmas ornament this year for the tree. I just used my last LID celebration graphic..21 months, I thought for sure I wouldn't need more since we have been working for almost a year now to go SN. I know that so many of you are struggling too. I know that God has a plan and I'm trying to keep my faith up. I am so happy to see all of the new babies coming home, I'm just struggling with the fact that there never seems to be a baby for us.

Sorry everyone, I've got the blues this morning. I'll shake it off by noon!


40 comments:

Kelley said...

I'd love to be able to give you a big hug! Hang in there, my friend. Your baby is headed your way...one day soon it will be your turn!

Marla said...

There IS a baby for you and she's perfect for your family. Big hugs to you while you wait for her. Hang on, she's coming!! :)

Noemi said...

It WILL be YOUR day soon! I can't imagine the emotions on this roller coaster ride, but it WILL be worth it!

This will be you last Waiting ornament you will buy.

No need to be sorry for feeling the blues...

Hugs!

Denise said...

Yes, the waiting is hard and I am so sorry. But God's exact timing is always perfect my friend!

amy said...

im with you chick. its hard for me to hear 'oh you will be matched by christmas' when i know no one can really know for sure

Rachael said...

Sorry you're feeling discouraged. Hope you get what you're wishing for this Christmas.

OH MY #6 said...

big, giant, hug, hug to you my friend.

Lea
xo

LaLa said...

Sending you hugs...so sorry this is dragging on. Our 24 month LID anniversary is the 24th..2 yrs...at least we do have the light at the end of the tunnel. Last Christmas when I bought our 2nd waiting for Malia ornament (hmmm..what to do with those?" I was so sad. I hope at least by Christmas your SW is right and you will have a face to go with that ornament : )

Kim Kenward said...

You have every right to feel discouraged and frustrated. I'm sorry this shared list process isn't moving along as quickly as everyone had hoped. I pray that your SW is right and that you have a sweet child to rejoice in during your holidays. I promise to keep you posted as I get more information from my inside source. Next week 11/25 is my dinner with my contact. HUGS!!!

Ava's family said...

(((Hugs)))

Gail said...

I'm so sorry that you haven't rec'd your referral yet Kimberley and I understand all about feeling down. Your baby girl will come, she will.
Big hug from me to you...

Gail

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Hang in there Kim... I can well and truly understand the pain... I was going through about 2 days ago...
Your turn will come... I can safely say 'just live life' and when you least expect it... there she will be... as you know... I have learnt to 'live' while waiting - though admittingly it kills me at times... take care and hugs to ya...

Kayce said...

You are allowed to have the blues Kim, it's part of the process. This ride is NOT fun, but soon you and I will be at the end. Hold on tight and keep the faith. Hugs to you.

Jill W said...

Hugs to you as you endure the wait. I hate it when my timing and God's timing are not in sync. I know His timing it right but sometimes that is just so hard. I guess its a control thing--for me. Praying for patience--for both of us :)

Juliette said...

Feeling like that often...
Hang on dear RMJ and hugs to you.

Lisa said...

Kimberley,
I am so sorry this is dragging on for you and so many other families.
The perfect baby girl is out there for you. What an awesome Christmas present that would be to have a referral by then. It could happen.
You are definetely allowed to have the blues. Keep the faith.
Love,
Lisa

kerri said...

I wish I could drop over, knock on your door, hand you a big Tim Hortons and give you a giant hug.
Hang in there, I pray you get a match for Xmas...

a Tonggu Momma said...

RMJ ~ Hugs to you during this process. The reality of this wait can really drain you. Your "down" moments help others feel connected to you... and also give others the opportunity to bless you with encouragement.

mom 2 many said...

I am praying for you! There is a perfect little princess for you and God is watching over her for you! Hang on, my friend. You are allowed to have a sad day!!! It is probably even healthy! Know you are loved by many!

Waiting for Mia Hope! said...

I'm sorry Kimberley! The wait IS hard! God does have a plan but I know that doesn't make your heart feel any better. Praying that next year you will be hanging an ornament with Sophia's photo on it!!!

Love and hugs from St. Louis!
Robin

Michelle said...

No need to apologize. Everyone has those days. I was having one last Saturday when I came here for the Sat. morning chat. Thanks to you(and your readers)for being here for me. You provide so much support for so many. Thank you for that.

Truly Blessed! said...

We all understand what you're going through. The uncertainty of this wait is so horrible...and SO NOT FUN.

If I were you, I'd be tempted to take a couple of hours off work and camp out in the agency's office waiting to talk with the director -- about your concerns over how they're working this SN List. I would probably not settle for a phone call at this point, I'd do it in person.

I believe this will be your LAST Christmas without your daughter HOME.

So sorry that you're feeling down (and this weather certainly isn't helping!).

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Hope you are feeling better..
I know it is hard.. but keep your chin up girly..
We will all have our little girls in due time.
We are all here for each other..
Hugs to you..
Love ya girly..

Matt and Carla Morgan said...

Bless your heart. You have been waiting so long. The blues are inevitable every now and then. Do take care of yourself and know that many of us are praying for you and your 7th diamond!

cm

A Mom- In-W8ing said...

You don’t have to apologize for anything every now and then we all have “blue” days.

Shake it off sister…you are stronger than the sadness you are experiencing. Very soon you will see the face of your sweet Sophia and we will all be celebrating with you!!

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

Dawn said...

YOUR perfect girl is just not on the list yet...she will be and the timing will be perfect. I pray that the time is very very soon.

Sending you a big ((HUG))
xoxo

mommy24treasures said...

hugs....

Monica said...

Oh, Kim, I'm so sorry you are feeling blue...and frustrated...and discouraged. I wish words and kind thoughts could erase it from your heart, but I know they can't.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

HI Kim,

I know it is such a roller coaster ride.....a ride that really is taking its toll on all of our emotions!

Hang in there girl....and don't lose the faith...your day is coming:)

Holly said...

thankfully we know that God is in control and not your agency. I can't fathom how they could guess when a child matching your requests will hit the list...that seems wrong.
I think it is okay for you to feel blue sometimes....you don't have to shake it off by noon. God knows how you struggle and how long you have waited and He loves you so much. Nobody said that just because you love the Lord and trust Him means it is EASY or painless! Is your faith being stretched and strengthened? You bet. Does it hurt? You bet!
Will it all be worth it? You bet!
Just wanted to give you "permission" to feel bummed sometimes. Your girl is coming and when that call comes and you KNOW....there won't be a thing that will be able to dim your joy!
Waiting with you for that day....
Holly at Purpose Driven Family

Paula said...

I hate it when people leave comments feeling sorry for me for something I've written on my blog when I'm being honest about my life or when people who have no idea of my situation try to give me advice. So, I will do neither. What I will do is the best thing. I will pray for God to open the door to your Sophia quickly.
Godspeed friend,
Love, Paula

Janet said...

You are ALLOWED to have the blues now and again! **HUGS** to you!!!!

Mardi said...

Your blog has been such an encouragment to other's that I hope during your time of blues you are finding your blessings returned.

I too, bought my 3rd "waiting for Lauren" ornament for the tree and yet I really do believe this is the last one we will have to buy. As you already know, when we look back on this waiting period we will see God's perfect plan and this will all be worth the roller coaster of emotions.

God Bless you!

love,

mardi

The Byrd's Nest said...

I know you have your ups and downs during the journey. I continue to pray for peace and Gods perfect timing.

Carol said...

((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Jonni said...

Sorry that you are feeling down honey. I hope that you do matched by Xmas. Wouldn't that be wonderful. Sending big hugs your way and good wishes that Sophia's referral will come soon. :)

Hugs,
Jonni

mommyto5 said...

Sorry to hear you are feeling down, prayers you hear good news very soon. I believe when you feel it will never happen, that what you have been waiting for is often right around the corner! Also I think the roller coaster ride of the adoption process is God's way of preparing us for when our special ones come home:) Best wishes and God Bless!!!

Ashley said...

Praying for a match SOON!!!!

Cupcakes and Hairbows said...

Hi RMJ -- We "found" Ally after being LID for MANY months from a WC list. Just so you know, from the day we submitted LOI for her, we celebrated "gotcha" exactly 2 months after that! Yes, at this point (I'm assuming you are thru review?), it goes very quickly -- 2 or 3 months tops! That part could be exciting! Lucy

lindanuts said...

The results are worth the wait. God will provide the perfect child for your family. He put this love in your heart for a reason and He will never let you down. He made you such a strong woman and has given you many trials but, rest assured, He will never give you more than you can handle. His love for us is never-ending and your perfect match will be with you at the perfect time!
Much love to you and your family during this season of celebration, thanksgiving and rebirth.