My Oldest...

This is a photo from Zachary's scrapbook. Sometimes I just can't believe he is 15 years old. Well, to be honest, most of the time I can't believe he is 15 years old and he will be 16 July 9th. He is such a wonderful young man now with a life that is quickly becoming his own. He has already made arrangements to purchase a car from his father on his 16th birthday. With that car, he will be able to go anywhere.
Being his mother has been one of the 3 greatest blessings of my life. He is my first child, my first experience at loving as a mother does. He woke my heart. I have loved every minute of every day of every year that he has graced this world and my life. I have loved him through each stage of his life, always eager to watch him grow and always missing the boy he was the year before.
When he was small, he needed me so much. His life revolved around me and mine around him. Somewhere along the road, he has moved on to other things, but my life still revolves around him. He needs me less, but I still need him the same. I can't imagine what I will do when he is grown and out on his own, what it will be like when he isn't walking through the door all the time, when he isn't at the dinner table.
This phase is becoming very difficult for me. I know that it's time for me to start letting go, but it's just so hard. I know that it is my job to prepare him for independence and I'm doing the best I can to ready him for life. I just have to figure out how to prepare myself for a life without him always in it.