THE SEVENTH DIAMOND

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

My Oldest...

This is a photo from Zachary's scrapbook. Sometimes I just can't believe he is 15 years old. Well, to be honest, most of the time I can't believe he is 15 years old and he will be 16 July 9th. He is such a wonderful young man now with a life that is quickly becoming his own. He has already made arrangements to purchase a car from his father on his 16th birthday. With that car, he will be able to go anywhere.
Being his mother has been one of the 3 greatest blessings of my life. He is my first child, my first experience at loving as a mother does. He woke my heart. I have loved every minute of every day of every year that he has graced this world and my life. I have loved him through each stage of his life, always eager to watch him grow and always missing the boy he was the year before.
When he was small, he needed me so much. His life revolved around me and mine around him. Somewhere along the road, he has moved on to other things, but my life still revolves around him. He needs me less, but I still need him the same. I can't imagine what I will do when he is grown and out on his own, what it will be like when he isn't walking through the door all the time, when he isn't at the dinner table.
This phase is becoming very difficult for me. I know that it's time for me to start letting go, but it's just so hard. I know that it is my job to prepare him for independence and I'm doing the best I can to ready him for life. I just have to figure out how to prepare myself for a life without him always in it.

17 comments:

PIPO said...

What a cutie! I bet it seems the time has flown and I can only imagine how hard it must be as a mama to allow your young man to spread his wings and fly.

Noemi said...

Wow RMJ I felt that you where reading my thoughts and writing them down for me! I have the same concerns the same fears. It is so hard to let go... They did not tell me how hard it was going to be to let him fly when he was placed in my arms.

He will be fine as he has grown to be one fine young man. I know it is easier said than done, becuase I myself find myself thinking how I will do this myself. My lil boy will turn 16 on June 29th. I find myself asking myself the same question. How did the time go by so fast? It is hard to accept the fact that they need us less and we need them more than they can imagine.

((((Hugs Chica))))

Dolores and Shawn said...

He will never need you less, trust me on that one. He just doesn't realize how much he does need you at this point in his life, but he will. Believe me he will.

A Mom- In-W8ing said...

A sweet post straight from the heart. What a great Mom you are!

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

Patricia/NYC said...

OK...I'm crying now...what a BEAUTIFUL post!! And what a beautiful boy! And... did you happen to read my mind??? ALthough my daughter is only 3 I'm feeling many of these things myself these days...I can't imagine what you must be feeling with your first on the brink of adulthood! Sounds like you are one mighty fine momma, though! :)

Linda said...

He will always need you, just in a different way. My baby boy is 42yrs and father of 3, but last night he sent me an email asking if I can sew buttons on his work shirts!! I think he knew I was needing to feel useful and that would do it... He can afford to send them out...I remember when he turned 16 and i felt so depressed...I realized my boy was turning into a man and I needed to step back and let him..Just let him know you will always be there for him, and he will never really leave you, it will just be different...Everyone has to learn to fly on their own, but needs a soft place to land sometimes, I know you will be that soft place...Linda

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

What a gorgeous boy - well, guess I should be saying handsome (which I am sure he is now)... I cannot wait for my heart to 'wake up'... though it has with Mike but more so when I have my own little family... take care

OH MY #6 said...

Boy do I feel your pain Kimberley. You are right that is our job to prepare them for independence. It wouldn't be right if that didn't happen. But, my heart breaks for you. I really, really, really, REALLY, feel your pain.

My precious middle one is getting married next Thursday and just to write this makes me teary!

But, to think how happy she is, and how she is glowing makes me teary too.

Life is wonderful isn't it?! but with good comes a little bad and with a little bad comes good. Go figure!!

Lea
xo

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy(Kim & John) said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel... It is sooo hard... I feel your pain and your love..
Have a Great Evening..
HUGS..
You know I am here if you ever want to talk..
All of our children will always need us.. just in a little different way..

GWEN OATSVALL said...

He is going to be a great young man because you are a fab mother, woman and friend to him i just know ... i can't imagine Jeremiah being a teenager ... i just love having him around as I am sure you do yours ... prayers to you my friend ...

Mob said...

It IS hard when they move out. When my daughter moved out and went to college it was really tough, but slowly you adjust. Then if you are lucky, God allows you to do it all over again!

Gail said...

Beautiful post Kimberley. Zach will always, always need you...it will be in a different way. I am going through some things right now with my son that are difficult. Even though he's a young adult and not living with us now he's asked for our help and we are there. Letting go is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life...being a parent doesn't stop, they just don't need us quite in the same way. :)

Ashley said...

What an awesome post!

Denise C said...

OH what a precious post from your sweet "Mommy Heart"! Thanks for sharing your heart today!
Love you,
Denise

jennifer said...

Boy do I feel your pain. You are a few years ahead of me. Bryce will be 12 this summer. I don't even want to think about him being ready to drive. The way you wrote about needing and loving him is so beautiful. I can't believe how fast they grow up.

lindanuts said...

Such a beautiful post. I have missed the personal side of your blog. You will be confident in your child as you are confident in what you have taught him. He will be fine because he is heart of your heart. And I will let you know when it starts to get easier. My youngest is 30.....

Jewels of My Heart said...

Big Hug...... I know I will blink my eyes and I will be right where you are.... no matter what...he will always be your baby.