THE SEVENTH DIAMOND

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month...


I have a girlfriend. She is beautiful and talented and she is married to a man who beats her and threatens her children. They have been married for 5 years now. Prior to the marriage, she knew what he was. We all expressed our concern very strongly. I confronted this man repeatedly. She still would never leave. There were bruises on her arms in the shapes of his hands from where he would grab her. The abuse was so extreme that she almost required reconstructive surgery. I have cried, I have pleaded. The police have been called in time and time again. The neighbors have called and they call the police on each other. Still, they are together. The things he says to her make my skin crawl. Truly, and I know that this is a horrible thing to say, but if he were hit by a bus...I would smile. I will never give up. I will never overlook. I will confront every bruise. I will offer a safe home to come to. I will offer to pack her things. I will offer money, to stand in court. Anything....

31 comments:

shelley said...

I have a friend like that...please don't give up...I didn't and she finally found the courage to leave him (after 20 yrs). They need pit bull friends like us

GWEN OATSVALL said...

you are a good friend ... and you are right to never look away ... justice is always the right thing to do !!!

Nancy said...

I had a friend in this situation as well. We had him out of the house, an order of protection, and a lawyer had started paperwork. Then she took him back and ended our friendship.
It is now 10 years later, and she is still living in hell.

PS - the boys did not succeed. I am still healthy. So looking forward to Saturday.

heidi said...

You'll be ready when she's ready. We need girlfriends!

Shawn and said...

Your friend is lucky to have you. I hope that she listens to you soon.

Steffie B. said...

I remember you telling me about this......someday she might really, really need you!

Janet said...

She needs you, RMJ. Be there for her, one day she may just reach out. I'm glad that you stick with it- it can be so frustrating watching her get hurt again and again. The best thing you can do is be her friend and make her know that she is worth something. Work on that with her. If she doesn't feel she's worth it, she won't leave.
God bless you for being there for her.

eggrolls and chopsticks said...

How terribley terribley sad and wrong.
I hope she gets brave very soon and saves her life.

Anonymous said...

sorry to hear about your friend.. we all need someone in our life that tries to help us and that we know will be there. sounds like you are that person. nothing will change until she realizes she is worth so much more then that kind of treatment. stand by her, she may come to the right decision sooner rather then later. you are a good friend. your blog looks great!! linda (donna"s mom)

LIZ said...

You are a good friend...when she's ready...she knows you will be there for her.

Lisa said...

Wow, what a post. I once had a friend like this too. She had no self worth, but she knew in the back of her mind someday something would change. One day she just woke up and everything changed. She left with just a bag of clothes her son and never looked back. She will wake up someday. She must have a plan. Even if she won't admit it she does in the back of her mind it's there. It takes courage to leave. She will find it with friends like you. You are just amazing. I wish my friend had someone like you back then.

Dannye said...

that is so very sad that she thinks so little of herself to not take herself and her children out of harm's way, don't give up on her Kim, when she realizes what a wonderful person she is, she'll need that support to leave him and be her own person once again!!

Christy said...

WOW!!! You are a good friend. This makes my skin crawl and saddens me deeply. I guess it is hard for many of us to understand why people say in situations like your friends but they do all the time. Keep the faith and someday maybe you will get to smile :)

Christy :)

Franceskasjourneyhome said...

What a good friend this lady has in you, never ever stop what you are doing!! I have a friend who is enduring the same thing but she is in such denial, so for right now all I can do is pray for her and be her friend also. This was really a great post. Bless you.

jennifer said...

You're a good friend. She is lucky to have you.

Holly said...

She is very fortunate to have you. You are a great friend.

Mr.Brian said...

You my dear are a true friend.Never,never give up!
I am sure he has her so convinced that she is wothless and no one cares.If you keep letting her know you are there and always will be maybe some day she will open her eyes.
Lets get all our blogging buddies to lift this women in prayer. that she may soon realize her danger.
Are there kids at home too??? Are they safe??
Ok everyone lets say a prayer for this women......
Bless you for your loving heart.

redmaryjanes said...

There originally were 5 children in the home. 3 from my girlfriend's previous marriage and 2 from his previous marriage. My friends oldest two were old enough to know that this was terribly wrong and begged their mother to leave. The oldest son got into a horrible confrontation with the man because he was trying to protect my friend (his mother). The jerk chased the son through house yelling that he was going to kill him. The son had to lock himself in a bathroom and climb out a window. He stayed with a friend for 3 months. My friend did nothing. I am still furious about that. The fact that she would allow that to happen to her son and remain silent. I just don't understand. My friends two older children are now grown and out of the house, but there are still 3 younger children caught up in the mess.

Nikki & Larry said...

What a heartbreaking situation. She certainly is lucky to have a great friend like you on her side. A time will come that she will need you, and for her to know that you are there for her must be comforting. You are a special friend!!

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

Kimber said...

Kim,

You nver cease to amaze me with your compassion and love for those around you! I am honored to know you in blogland...wich I lknew you in the real world. i ahve a feeling you are the BEST friend a person could ask for! i will pray for your friend. Marriage and Family is my professional field and I still have not understood WHY anyone stays!

hugs,
Kim

kerri said...

Your friend is lucky to have you for support, don't give up on her.
I can't imagine the terror she has to endure and how this must be affecting the lives of her children.

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

Your friend is very lucky to have you...
I pray for things to work out in the end...
Kim

Noemi said...

This world needs more friends like you! You are such an amazing woman, mother, daughter and friend.. Don't give up, someday we can only pray that she listens for those 3 little ones still at home...

adele and dan said...

I will pray for her and you.

mommy24treasures said...

you are a true friend.

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

A bus wouldn't do enough damage....nothing would be great enough punishment for the pain she must feel. I pray she is delivered from the hand of that man or that he be delivered......somewhere.
She must be one heck of a woman to put up with the likes of that.
She needs a friend like you in her life.....

Christine said...

You are right to keep trying. It is hard to see why but it has been discribed to me as an addiciton - like people smoking and know it causes cancer. I was told there is some chemical issue to this too.
You may need to have her put her kids first and help them. Play on that mother role more.

The Shocks said...

You are a great friend. Keep up the fight on her behalf. I pray that she will realize that she needs to get out soon.

Dawn said...

You are such a compassion warrior! Your blog is a joy to read. What a wonderful friend you are to never look or walk away!

Salome's Mom said...

Oh my goodness, those poor innocent children. What message is this sending and what hell they are living. I hope you are able to break through the ice. You are a very good friend, don't give up. She needs you and so do her children.

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

this is so upsetting! my heart goes out to her. sadly sometimes it takes a long time for them to find the courage to finally leave. be there for her.