New Babes...

It does my heart good to write this post. Welcome Alyzabeth An, I have been waiting to see your beautiful face for a long time now and I know that your Mom and Dad are over the moon with happiness! Their family blog is 'Imagine Alyzabeth An'. PS, you have very cool parents!


This little darling belongs to my new friends Ruth and Brian. Welcome little Abigail. You are absolutely beautiful! Congratulations to the new family! Their blog is 'Bringing Up Daisies'.

Searching for Sophia...

Over the past 5 days, we have had the privilege of reviewing the files of 2 children. Beautiful little girls who captured our hearts. We had high hopes that one of them was Sophia. We researched and prayed and asked a lot questions. We had Bible verses on the fridge next to a sweet little face, hoping it would inspire and guide us. In the end, neither girl is our daughter.

I thought that I would instantly know it was her when I saw her face. I had always dreamed that I would look into her eyes and know she was my girl. This was the case with the first girl. We both looked at her little face and knew she was ours. She had the family cowlick and my grandfather's birthday. We were elated. We asked the questions our pediatrician required, fully expecting to hear good news and be united with our child. The news was not what we needed to hear. Her situation was far more serious than we could manage. We couldn't believe it. We were devastated and our faith in ourselves and our ability to recognize our own child was shattered. There were tears and a lot of heartache.

We were going to take a little a break, but a good friend encouraged us to keep trying. Again, we received the file of a beautiful little girl. I mean breathtaking beauty. We were much more cautious though. We asked the questions our pediatrician needed to know and received some pretty positive answers. We struggled for days, going back and forth, as this child's SN was pretty serious and the long term prognosis could not be determined at this time. We had actually come to the decision to accept this child's referral over the weekend, only to be faced with more questions later. We prayed and prayed. I couldn't sleep, I looked like I had been dragged behind a bus. We could not let her go and we could not find the peace to move forward. Yesterday we made the decision that if we could not find the peace to move forward, then we would have to let her go. And yesterday, we let her go. Let me tell you, while you are completely heartbroken, to watch your 6'3" husband's eyes cloud up with tears is awful...just awful.

My oldest son Zachary came into this world so easily, no complications. Tyler was a life and death struggle from 9 weeks all of the way until he was born at 38 weeks. Eli put me on bedrest, but wasn't as serious as Tyler. Now, my little Sophia is a different struggle, a struggle of my heart and my spirit. Both of which are completely exhausted right now.

We will continue to search until we find her. But my gnawing fear is that we will see her and not know it is her and let her pass by. I thought I would know when I saw her face. Evidently I won't. I was so certain the first baby was our girl. I know that God is in control and He would not allow us to make such a large mistake. But right now I am so confused. This experience has questioned our ability as parents and our faith. What if God was hoping we would take a leap of faith with this child and we didn't? What if we blew it?

The weight of choosing your child is so incredibly overwhelming. The boys were sent to me by God, I had no decisions to make. I never question whether or not they are mine, I gave birth to them...of course they are mine. With Sophia, I know that God will bring her to me too, I just have a role to play in it. A role that I was truly unprepared for. But I know that she is so worth it all. Every heartbreak brings us closer to her. I would break my heart a thousand times for my girl and shed endless tears. We are hopeful and know that the future holds tears of joy.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us. We were truly on our faces before God. Thank you for your e-mails and the Bible verses you sent. I put your verses on our fridge where I could read them every day.

Taking a Break...

For the first time, I am taking a break. We are going through something that I cannot discuss. It is taking everything we have. My heart and my soul are exhausted. Do not worry, there is nothing bad happening to us. We are on the road to one of our greatest joys, it is just that there is some anguish along the way. We don't know if we are at the beginning or nearing the end of the road, but we have turned off of our initial path and are moving forward in a new direction.
We have been in continuous prayer and are seeking God's guidance on a daily basis. Please pray for us. Pray for God's will to be done, pray for our faith, pray for peace for our hearts as we wait for God to show us the way.
I will be back when things are calmer and clearer.

Dinner With New Friends...

Last night we had the pleasure of being able to meet Special K /Karen and her family for dinner. They are visiting family here in Michigan.
My camera battery died after only 2 shots, and only one of those came out ok, so here is the only photo I have. Karen has some fantastic ones, so I'll have to snitch them from her blog 'Live, Love, Laugh' when she posts them.


This is Eli and Micah who became fast friends. They drove their cars all over our area of the restaurant and jumped around dancing and shaking their booties. They had so much fun. All the way home Eli talked about his friend Micah and asked us where his house is and if he can see him tomorrow.

Karen and her husband are wonderful. I really encourage anyone who has the opportunity to meet some of the families who they have met through the blogs to take it. We had a wonderful evening. The time just flew by. When you are adopting or have already adopted, you have so much in common to begin with that the conversations just flow.

Please let us know whenever you come back in town, we would love to meet up with you guys again!

18 months...

The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap!

Ok everyone, it's time for The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap and this is how it works....

1) Go through your child's closet and make a list of the things that they have outgrown that you would be willing to swap, the sizes they are and the brands you have.

For Eli I have all size 4T winter clothing: 3 sweaters, 6 shirts, 1 sweatshirt, 2 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of pajamas. The brands I have are wonderkids, Gap, Old Navy, UR H, Now & Zen, Harry & Me, Land's End, Carter's & Cherokee. I also have a size 3T Columbia coat.

2) Identify the size and types of clothing you would like to receive. I would like to receive girls clothes in sizes 18 month to 3T. Winter preferably.

3) Send me an e-mail with this information at timnkim@gmail.com

If I receive an e-mail from a Mom who is looking for what you have to send and I have someone who is looking to give away what you need, I will match you up. I will do my best to match Moms with other Moms who like the same brands and I will try to match you up with an even number of items.

When you are matched, I will send you the address of the Mom you are going to ship your outgrown clothing to. You have one week to send your box.Now, this is an at your own risk swap. I will do my best to match everyone well. Please send gently used clothes, no tears, no holes, no stains. Send clothing you would love to receive : )

Sunday...

Fishing With Tyler In His Rowboat...

Tyler inherited the rowboat.

Rowing

Catching a lily pad
And I think this is the worst picture ever taken of me. It looks like I have a mustache. But this tiny fish that I caught was so cute, we took a picture. We caught around 12 fish today : )

Good Morning Saturday Morning Chat Group!...It's Time for the Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap!!

Good Morning Everyone! Welcome to the Saturday Morning Chat Group. It's pretty quiet from what I can tell in blogland. We still have some friends out of the country to bring home their chidlren, so let's continue to support them. Paula from 'The Baby Journals' is giving away a Starbucks card...you'd better believe I signed up for that! Amanda has been receiving some packages from the Starfish Book Drive, so thank you to everyone who sending a book and some supplies.

AND.... I AM LAUNCHING THE SEVENTH DIAMOND CHILDREN'S CLOTHING SWAP.

What do you think?

Ok everyone, it's time for The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap and this is how it works....

1) Go through your child's closet and make a list of the things that they have outgrown that you would be willing to swap, the sizes they are and the brands you have. For Eli I have all size 4T winter clothing: 3 sweaters, 6 shirts, 1 sweatshirt, 2 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of pajamas. The brands I have are wonderkids, Gap, Old Navy, UR H, Now & Zen, Harry & Me, Land's End, Carter's & Cherokee. I also have a size 3T Columbia coat.

2) Identify the size and types of clothing you would like to receive. I would like to receive girls clothes in sizes 18 month to 3T. Winter preferably.

3) Send me an e-mail with this information at timnkim@gmail.com

If I receive an e-mail from a Mom who is looking for what you have to send and I have someone who is looking to give away what you need, I will match you up. I will do my best to match Moms with other Moms who like the same brands and I will try to match you up with an even number of items. When you are matched, I will send you the address of the Mom you are going to ship your outgrown clothing to. You have one week to send your box.

Now, this is an at your own risk swap. I will do my best to match everyone well. Please send gently used clothes, no tears, no holes, no stains. Send clothing you would love to receive : )

*The chat room is now closed. Have a great weekend everyone!

Earthquake measuring 5.8 hits Sichuan Province

I can't seem to find very much information about this earthquake which hit Sichuan yesterday. It measured 5.8 which is pretty sizeable, but was not as large as the May earthquake which also hit Sichuan. According to the articles I can find, there are no reports of fatalities.

Please Send a Hug to my Friend Carla..A New Adoptive Mom

Please send a hug or some comforting words to my friend Carla at 'Bringing Nicholas Up'. She has just brought home her beautiful son Nicholas from Russia and he is grieving and going through the normal processes of adjusting. But she is going through all of this for the first time and feeling a little confused and lost emotionally as well. Which we all know is normal, but I think she could use some comfort and encouragement from some Moms who have gone through it before. If you could visit her blog, I would really appreciate it. She needs a little support from the sisterhood.

Quote for the Week...

I will tell you that this quote is really a reflection of me. If I can't get through one door, I will find another or make my own. And if that doesn't work, I'll knock on the door for so long that I eventually annoy the daylights out of the person on the other side and they let me in so I'll stop knocking : )

Thank You Everyone!

Thank you everyone for all of your comments about your children and their special needs. They were quite helpful to me last night as I was putting together the packet for our agency. I will be faxing it over to my social worker today. I think it turned out really well.
Please pray for us and for all of the families who are waiting. I am feeling really good about this and feel like we are moving in the right direction. I don't know how much longer we will be waiting, but at least I believe that we are on our way.

Help Wanted....Special Needs List

Hello everyone! My agency is forwarding me a special needs checklist to fill out for them so that they know what conditions we would be comfortable with. There are so many different special needs and so many terms. I would like to ask anyone who has a special needs child and is comfortable talking about it to please leave me a comment describing the SN so that I can have something to refer to besides the internet when I fill out this form.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

Sunday...

Welcome to the Saturday Morning Chat Group!

Good Morning Everyone!

We have a lot of families uniting with their children for the first time this week and it's been amazing to follow their journeys.

Also, if you haven't heard, there has been a big shake-up with Guatemala adoptions. A baby girl who was stolen from her mother was located in the Guatemala adoption system. She was about to be adopted by an American couple. There is an article on 'No Place Like Home' if you would like to know more.

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Also, there are several of our friends who are opening up their own on-line boutiques. Let's do what we can to support them. I have added all of them that I know of on my side-bar. If you would like to copy any of them and post them on your blogs, that would be great! Many of these ladies are raising money to bring their children home, or to help others.

This weekend should be mellow for us. Tim is working on an outside project, so Eli and I will be hanging out together with friends.

Ann is currently in Taiwan to bring home her darling Claire. Her blog is 'Taiwan Treasure' if you would like to drop by and leave a kind work or follow their journey.

Dawn is in China to bring home little Lucy! Their travel blog is 'We Love Lucy'. You can follow their journey, they have some gorgeous photos on the blog.

Paulette is also in China to bring home her sweet little Annalise. Their travel blog is 'Together Forever'. These two are bonding together wonderfully.

*THE CHAT ROOM IS NOW CLOSED, I AM GOING FISHING :)

WOO HOO...it's Friday!

For whatever reason, I love Wednesdays and Fridays. I really look forward to them. Work is usually light hearted and fun and our friends start showing up at the lake on Friday night.

We don't have any big plans, so our weekend should be relaxing. We have a lot of great things to celebrate on the Sat Chat, so join in if you can.

Have a great day!

Quote for the Week...

I am making a point right now to listen to the voices that are telling me that we are going to get through this and that our Sophia is coming. I am also making a point to be that voice to others. ABOUT THE HEADER. The header is very meaningful right now. I feel like I've been in a dark tunnel for a while, but I'm about to make it out. When I saw that image, I just had to put it on the blog so that I could see it whenever I needed to smile. There have been some changes for the much better at our agency and I think our girl is coming. I don't know when exactly, but I think she's on her way. So...I think we are going to finally start making our way out of this and I see some light at the end of our tunnel.