Thank You Robin, Lea and Jill...

A special thank you to Robin, Lea and Jill. Thank you for thinking of me and sending me something special. I have not been myself these past few weeks. I really have not fully recovered from reviewing the files of the two little girls.
And then this past week, it was so good to go home, but it's hard to see my Grandmother struggling with lung cancer. She is doing so well though. Her spirits are high. She says she doesn't even mind losing her hair. She'd rather not have to mess with it.
I know that I am very blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing women. I truly have the largest support group I have ever had in my life. Thank you.

No Sat Chat..

Sorry Everyone, there will be no Sat Chat Group. We are leaving as early as possible Saturday Morning to drive 12 hours to get back to Michigan. Have a great weekend everyone! Sat Chat for sure next Saturday!

Fun in Kansas City

With the big brothers away on their Colorado trip, Eli is getting lots of attention and having a wonderful time. He loves to help Uncle Gary. Here they are working on Aunt Pam's bird house holder.
This is the T-Rex Restaurant in the Legends. I have posted photos of this place before when were here last time. The kids love it!

Cousin Jessie with baby Ethan. Isn't he darling? Even when he's crying?

These photos are from the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead. This was a wonderful place. We had the best time there yesterday.

Eli, cousin McKenzie and Uncle Gary in the flowers.


Milkin the cow~

Farmer Eli

Riding the horse~

The Journey Necklace

I turn 40 next month. Yes, the big 4-0. I'm at peace with it. I am very comfortable with my life and where I am in it. I have achieved the things that were important to me and am incredibly content. My focus is on bringing home my daughter and caring for my family. I am blessed with 3 beautiful healthy sons and wonderful husband.

My Aunt and my Grandmother gave me this necklace as an early birthday gift since we will not be able to be together on my big day. My Aunt says it is a journey necklace and I have been on a journey. She was careful to point out that there are seven diamonds.

This is the best photo I could take of it as my camera is very challenged. But it means the world to me and I plan to always wear it.

US Department of State...Notice Concerning Transfer of Pending Convention Cases to Hague Accredited/Approved ASPs

US Department of State...Notice Concerning Transfer of Pending Convention Cases to Accredited/Approved ASPs

This is taken directly from the US Department of State Web Page...Notice Concerning Transfer of Pending Convention Cases to Accredited/Approved ASPs

Adoption service providers (ASPs) that have been denied accreditation or approval may have pending adoption cases that are now, or will likely become, Convention cases before they can be brought to a conclusion. Such ASPs are urged to transfer any such cases expeditiously to an accredited, temporarily accredited or approved ASP. ASPs that have been denied accreditation or approval should activate their plans for transferring pending Convention cases to accredited, temporarily accredited, or approved ASPs in a timely and transparent manner, including refunding fees to prospective adoptive parents for services not yet provided. (All ASPs that applied for accreditation or approval provided a plan pursuant to 22 CFR 96.33(e) for transferring cases in the event an agency cannot see them to completion. Applicants for temporary accreditation were to have such a plan pursuant to 22 CFR 96.104(k).) Whether a transferred case may proceed on the same track it was on prior to the transfer to an accredited, temporarily accredited or approved ASP will depend largely on the facts of the case, the requirements of the country of origin and the regulations of the state in which the new ASP is located.

Welcome to the Saturday Morning Chat Group Everyone...

Sorry I am so late everyone, we had to take the boys and my father to the airport here in KC this morning so they could catch their flight to Colorado!

THE CHAT ROOM IS NOW CLOSED...HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

There's No Place Like Home...

There's no place like home....so we are off to Kansas to visit family. Kansas City that is. And my do they love the Wizard of Oz there. I remember as child that when it made it's annual showing, it was a BIG deal. My Mom popped tons of popcorn and we would all gather around the television spellbound even though we knew the whole thing by heart.

We are leaving tonight in the minivan. Think of me as I'm driving 12 hours with the kids. Then extremely early Saturday Morning, Zach and Tyler leave for Colorado with my Dad for a week long Colorado tour. I am going to try to the Saturday Morning Chat Group, but we'll have to play it by ear.

I am looking forward to some time away to re-coup. I will be seeing my Grandmother for the first time since her chemo. I know that she is very tired and her hair is gone. I hope that I can be strong for her and not break down.

My soul is always rejuvenated when I am home. I hope this trip will bring that to me.

New Babes...

It does my heart good to write this post. Welcome Alyzabeth An, I have been waiting to see your beautiful face for a long time now and I know that your Mom and Dad are over the moon with happiness! Their family blog is 'Imagine Alyzabeth An'. PS, you have very cool parents!


This little darling belongs to my new friends Ruth and Brian. Welcome little Abigail. You are absolutely beautiful! Congratulations to the new family! Their blog is 'Bringing Up Daisies'.

Searching for Sophia...

Over the past 5 days, we have had the privilege of reviewing the files of 2 children. Beautiful little girls who captured our hearts. We had high hopes that one of them was Sophia. We researched and prayed and asked a lot questions. We had Bible verses on the fridge next to a sweet little face, hoping it would inspire and guide us. In the end, neither girl is our daughter.

I thought that I would instantly know it was her when I saw her face. I had always dreamed that I would look into her eyes and know she was my girl. This was the case with the first girl. We both looked at her little face and knew she was ours. She had the family cowlick and my grandfather's birthday. We were elated. We asked the questions our pediatrician required, fully expecting to hear good news and be united with our child. The news was not what we needed to hear. Her situation was far more serious than we could manage. We couldn't believe it. We were devastated and our faith in ourselves and our ability to recognize our own child was shattered. There were tears and a lot of heartache.

We were going to take a little a break, but a good friend encouraged us to keep trying. Again, we received the file of a beautiful little girl. I mean breathtaking beauty. We were much more cautious though. We asked the questions our pediatrician needed to know and received some pretty positive answers. We struggled for days, going back and forth, as this child's SN was pretty serious and the long term prognosis could not be determined at this time. We had actually come to the decision to accept this child's referral over the weekend, only to be faced with more questions later. We prayed and prayed. I couldn't sleep, I looked like I had been dragged behind a bus. We could not let her go and we could not find the peace to move forward. Yesterday we made the decision that if we could not find the peace to move forward, then we would have to let her go. And yesterday, we let her go. Let me tell you, while you are completely heartbroken, to watch your 6'3" husband's eyes cloud up with tears is awful...just awful.

My oldest son Zachary came into this world so easily, no complications. Tyler was a life and death struggle from 9 weeks all of the way until he was born at 38 weeks. Eli put me on bedrest, but wasn't as serious as Tyler. Now, my little Sophia is a different struggle, a struggle of my heart and my spirit. Both of which are completely exhausted right now.

We will continue to search until we find her. But my gnawing fear is that we will see her and not know it is her and let her pass by. I thought I would know when I saw her face. Evidently I won't. I was so certain the first baby was our girl. I know that God is in control and He would not allow us to make such a large mistake. But right now I am so confused. This experience has questioned our ability as parents and our faith. What if God was hoping we would take a leap of faith with this child and we didn't? What if we blew it?

The weight of choosing your child is so incredibly overwhelming. The boys were sent to me by God, I had no decisions to make. I never question whether or not they are mine, I gave birth to them...of course they are mine. With Sophia, I know that God will bring her to me too, I just have a role to play in it. A role that I was truly unprepared for. But I know that she is so worth it all. Every heartbreak brings us closer to her. I would break my heart a thousand times for my girl and shed endless tears. We are hopeful and know that the future holds tears of joy.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for us. We were truly on our faces before God. Thank you for your e-mails and the Bible verses you sent. I put your verses on our fridge where I could read them every day.

Taking a Break...

For the first time, I am taking a break. We are going through something that I cannot discuss. It is taking everything we have. My heart and my soul are exhausted. Do not worry, there is nothing bad happening to us. We are on the road to one of our greatest joys, it is just that there is some anguish along the way. We don't know if we are at the beginning or nearing the end of the road, but we have turned off of our initial path and are moving forward in a new direction.
We have been in continuous prayer and are seeking God's guidance on a daily basis. Please pray for us. Pray for God's will to be done, pray for our faith, pray for peace for our hearts as we wait for God to show us the way.
I will be back when things are calmer and clearer.

Dinner With New Friends...

Last night we had the pleasure of being able to meet Special K /Karen and her family for dinner. They are visiting family here in Michigan.
My camera battery died after only 2 shots, and only one of those came out ok, so here is the only photo I have. Karen has some fantastic ones, so I'll have to snitch them from her blog 'Live, Love, Laugh' when she posts them.


This is Eli and Micah who became fast friends. They drove their cars all over our area of the restaurant and jumped around dancing and shaking their booties. They had so much fun. All the way home Eli talked about his friend Micah and asked us where his house is and if he can see him tomorrow.

Karen and her husband are wonderful. I really encourage anyone who has the opportunity to meet some of the families who they have met through the blogs to take it. We had a wonderful evening. The time just flew by. When you are adopting or have already adopted, you have so much in common to begin with that the conversations just flow.

Please let us know whenever you come back in town, we would love to meet up with you guys again!

18 months...

The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap!

Ok everyone, it's time for The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap and this is how it works....

1) Go through your child's closet and make a list of the things that they have outgrown that you would be willing to swap, the sizes they are and the brands you have.

For Eli I have all size 4T winter clothing: 3 sweaters, 6 shirts, 1 sweatshirt, 2 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of pajamas. The brands I have are wonderkids, Gap, Old Navy, UR H, Now & Zen, Harry & Me, Land's End, Carter's & Cherokee. I also have a size 3T Columbia coat.

2) Identify the size and types of clothing you would like to receive. I would like to receive girls clothes in sizes 18 month to 3T. Winter preferably.

3) Send me an e-mail with this information at timnkim@gmail.com

If I receive an e-mail from a Mom who is looking for what you have to send and I have someone who is looking to give away what you need, I will match you up. I will do my best to match Moms with other Moms who like the same brands and I will try to match you up with an even number of items.

When you are matched, I will send you the address of the Mom you are going to ship your outgrown clothing to. You have one week to send your box.Now, this is an at your own risk swap. I will do my best to match everyone well. Please send gently used clothes, no tears, no holes, no stains. Send clothing you would love to receive : )

Sunday...

Fishing With Tyler In His Rowboat...

Tyler inherited the rowboat.

Rowing

Catching a lily pad
And I think this is the worst picture ever taken of me. It looks like I have a mustache. But this tiny fish that I caught was so cute, we took a picture. We caught around 12 fish today : )

Good Morning Saturday Morning Chat Group!...It's Time for the Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap!!

Good Morning Everyone! Welcome to the Saturday Morning Chat Group. It's pretty quiet from what I can tell in blogland. We still have some friends out of the country to bring home their chidlren, so let's continue to support them. Paula from 'The Baby Journals' is giving away a Starbucks card...you'd better believe I signed up for that! Amanda has been receiving some packages from the Starfish Book Drive, so thank you to everyone who sending a book and some supplies.

AND.... I AM LAUNCHING THE SEVENTH DIAMOND CHILDREN'S CLOTHING SWAP.

What do you think?

Ok everyone, it's time for The Seventh Diamond Children's Clothing Swap and this is how it works....

1) Go through your child's closet and make a list of the things that they have outgrown that you would be willing to swap, the sizes they are and the brands you have. For Eli I have all size 4T winter clothing: 3 sweaters, 6 shirts, 1 sweatshirt, 2 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of pajamas. The brands I have are wonderkids, Gap, Old Navy, UR H, Now & Zen, Harry & Me, Land's End, Carter's & Cherokee. I also have a size 3T Columbia coat.

2) Identify the size and types of clothing you would like to receive. I would like to receive girls clothes in sizes 18 month to 3T. Winter preferably.

3) Send me an e-mail with this information at timnkim@gmail.com

If I receive an e-mail from a Mom who is looking for what you have to send and I have someone who is looking to give away what you need, I will match you up. I will do my best to match Moms with other Moms who like the same brands and I will try to match you up with an even number of items. When you are matched, I will send you the address of the Mom you are going to ship your outgrown clothing to. You have one week to send your box.

Now, this is an at your own risk swap. I will do my best to match everyone well. Please send gently used clothes, no tears, no holes, no stains. Send clothing you would love to receive : )

*The chat room is now closed. Have a great weekend everyone!

Earthquake measuring 5.8 hits Sichuan Province

I can't seem to find very much information about this earthquake which hit Sichuan yesterday. It measured 5.8 which is pretty sizeable, but was not as large as the May earthquake which also hit Sichuan. According to the articles I can find, there are no reports of fatalities.

Please Send a Hug to my Friend Carla..A New Adoptive Mom

Please send a hug or some comforting words to my friend Carla at 'Bringing Nicholas Up'. She has just brought home her beautiful son Nicholas from Russia and he is grieving and going through the normal processes of adjusting. But she is going through all of this for the first time and feeling a little confused and lost emotionally as well. Which we all know is normal, but I think she could use some comfort and encouragement from some Moms who have gone through it before. If you could visit her blog, I would really appreciate it. She needs a little support from the sisterhood.

Quote for the Week...

I will tell you that this quote is really a reflection of me. If I can't get through one door, I will find another or make my own. And if that doesn't work, I'll knock on the door for so long that I eventually annoy the daylights out of the person on the other side and they let me in so I'll stop knocking : )

Thank You Everyone!

Thank you everyone for all of your comments about your children and their special needs. They were quite helpful to me last night as I was putting together the packet for our agency. I will be faxing it over to my social worker today. I think it turned out really well.
Please pray for us and for all of the families who are waiting. I am feeling really good about this and feel like we are moving in the right direction. I don't know how much longer we will be waiting, but at least I believe that we are on our way.

Help Wanted....Special Needs List

Hello everyone! My agency is forwarding me a special needs checklist to fill out for them so that they know what conditions we would be comfortable with. There are so many different special needs and so many terms. I would like to ask anyone who has a special needs child and is comfortable talking about it to please leave me a comment describing the SN so that I can have something to refer to besides the internet when I fill out this form.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

Sunday...

Welcome to the Saturday Morning Chat Group!

Good Morning Everyone!

We have a lot of families uniting with their children for the first time this week and it's been amazing to follow their journeys.

Also, if you haven't heard, there has been a big shake-up with Guatemala adoptions. A baby girl who was stolen from her mother was located in the Guatemala adoption system. She was about to be adopted by an American couple. There is an article on 'No Place Like Home' if you would like to know more.

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Also, there are several of our friends who are opening up their own on-line boutiques. Let's do what we can to support them. I have added all of them that I know of on my side-bar. If you would like to copy any of them and post them on your blogs, that would be great! Many of these ladies are raising money to bring their children home, or to help others.

This weekend should be mellow for us. Tim is working on an outside project, so Eli and I will be hanging out together with friends.

Ann is currently in Taiwan to bring home her darling Claire. Her blog is 'Taiwan Treasure' if you would like to drop by and leave a kind work or follow their journey.

Dawn is in China to bring home little Lucy! Their travel blog is 'We Love Lucy'. You can follow their journey, they have some gorgeous photos on the blog.

Paulette is also in China to bring home her sweet little Annalise. Their travel blog is 'Together Forever'. These two are bonding together wonderfully.

*THE CHAT ROOM IS NOW CLOSED, I AM GOING FISHING :)

WOO HOO...it's Friday!

For whatever reason, I love Wednesdays and Fridays. I really look forward to them. Work is usually light hearted and fun and our friends start showing up at the lake on Friday night.

We don't have any big plans, so our weekend should be relaxing. We have a lot of great things to celebrate on the Sat Chat, so join in if you can.

Have a great day!

Quote for the Week...

I am making a point right now to listen to the voices that are telling me that we are going to get through this and that our Sophia is coming. I am also making a point to be that voice to others. ABOUT THE HEADER. The header is very meaningful right now. I feel like I've been in a dark tunnel for a while, but I'm about to make it out. When I saw that image, I just had to put it on the blog so that I could see it whenever I needed to smile. There have been some changes for the much better at our agency and I think our girl is coming. I don't know when exactly, but I think she's on her way. So...I think we are going to finally start making our way out of this and I see some light at the end of our tunnel.

The Brillante Weblog Award...Thank You Cyndi

My dear friend Cyndi from 'Waiting for Lilly Rae' has awarded me with the Brillante Weblog Award. I tell you, I have been feeling so behind in blogland lately and have been trying to get out there and touch base with everyone. It really brought a big smile to my face to see this when Cyndi's blog popped up.

I am supposed to pass this award along to 7 others. I will tell you that it wasn't easy for me to choose. I have been going through a tough time on my journey and there have been some women who have been holding me up and inspiring me.

Amy from 'A Mother Singing'. Amazing woman, always has been. But I was reading one of her posts about how she now 'sees' the orphans of the world. They are not anonymous to her, she is aware of them and loves them, they are always on her mind and urging her heart. She is doing what she can to help and to cause change..even if it is one child at time.

Which brings me to Daleea from 'One Child At Time'. My friend who had a vision of something that could be amazing and she worked and worked and created a project that is saving the lives of children in China.

Holly from 'Purpose Driven Family' is someone I am just beginning to get to know, but I am very challenged by her faith and by her dedication to advocate for the adoption of children with HIV Aids. And I mean challenged in a very positive way. I am blown away by this woman.

Steffie B. you all know her, 'Never Too Many' She has been my life vest lately. If I didn't have her to talk to, I don't know if I'd be making it through all of this. Thank you my friend for always being there.

Kim from 'Isabella Bison'. Kim is always the first to read almost every post I write. I don't know how she does it, but I'm so glad to always be able to open my comments and see her words there.

Jane from 'Much Ado' is a constant source of inspiration for me. She is a wonderful spiritual compass, always showing me an example of what I should be focusing on and how I should be living my life.

Janet from 'Tuininga Treasures'. I have been completely inspired by her Africa adoption journey. If you haven't read her account of bringing home her children, you really need to go to her blog. It is absolutely amazing.

Prayer Warriors Alert!

THIS PRAYER REQUEST IS FROM MY FRIEND HOLLY. SHE IS AN ADOPTION ADVOCATE WITH 'NO PLACE LIKE HOME'. SHE IS ASKING FOR PRAYER FOR HER FRIEND NAMED CARE WHO IS A CHRISTIAN WOMAN WHOSE FAITH HAS GIVEN HER THE STRENGTH TO PERSUE THE ADOPTION OF A LITTLE GIRL WITH HIV AIDS. CARE IS IN ETHIOPIA NOW WITH HER DAUGHTER SELAH WHOSE HEALTH HAS TAKEN A DANGEROUS TURN. PLEASE JOIN ME IN PRAYING FOR STRENGTH AND HEALING.

IF YOU COULD VISIT HOLLY'S BLOG TO LET HER KNOW THAT YOU HAVE JOINED THE PRAYER GROUP, IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL 'THE PURPOSE DRIVEN FAMILY'.

BELOW IS HOLLY'S POST ASKING FOR HELP THROUGH PRAYER.

My dear readers,

I come to you with a most urgent prayer request. I have a sweet friend who is in Ethiopia RIGHT NOW with her new daughter(pictured above), Selah Yordanos, also affectionately known as "Yordi", and she needs the intercession of the saints urgently!Care (my friend) is there alone while her awesome husband holds down the fort at home with the other kiddos.Selah's HIV has progressed into AIDS and her health has rapidly declined. She is totally devoid of strength and she only weighs a mere 32 pounds. This sweet girl is my daughter's age and weighs the same as my 2.5 year old. She is vomiting her meds, which are VITAL for an HIV patient. She has been admitted to a local hospital in Ethiopia. Below is an excerpt from Care's message from an internet cafe in Ethiopia:
I have quickly stopped at an internet cafe to ask for prayer......I took Yordi to the hospital this morning....she has been admitted.....she weighed a total (WITH CLOTHES AND SHOES) of 16kg (32.4lbs) I have watched her decline and could not risk the flight without intervention. She is vomiting and coughing, she cannot handle her meds, yet that is her earthly lifeline (I KNOW that her heaven lifeline is FAR bigger)....she is ridiculously weak and often listless....I didn't like the look in her eyes and knew in my heart to take her in to the hospital...I tried to see THE doctor yesterday and was advised to take her somewhere else to see if she "NEEDED" to see her. I was furious and Yordi couldn't take being moved again....she cried and was so sick during the immigration appt....she begged for "no more"..." Go Guest house, momma." SHe perked up last night and took a dive this morning. NO MORE! I am praying that the IV fluids will give her the energy to get her home, there is not much else they can do. I question WHY she has not been hospitalized before this...The dr. at Hayat hospital admitted her right away and ordered tests.....like I said...I believe just to hydrate her will be about all they can do...I cannot wait to get her to U of C....her breathing is rapid and heavy, loud...but I don't think she has Pneumonia or TB at this point. But, I know her body cannot handle one more complication......Even the vomiting expends all the energy she has....The pain involved in any blood work or injection because of her weight is almost unbearable for her...this is the worst part. PLEASE pray for her, that she not have pain....this kind of sufferring is unexplainable....she is SO afraid...she was afraid for me to leave her at the hospital......she associates the hospital with death, and probably still assumes that I wouldn't want her in the shape she is in....If I could only convey to her how I love her...although we have had some serius bonding moments through this...I thank God for the continued strength for me.His mercy and grace is overflowing.......When I look out the window of yordi's hosp room there is the beautiful mountain range. It shows me that above ALL of the suffering and brokenness that God's majesty REIGNS...He is ever bigger than any situation.....He is holding me, but most importantly Yordanos.......He has big plans for this little squirt."I lift mine eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from You, Maker of heaven Creator of the earth." (from Psalms somewhere...sung by Sonic Flood) " Oh how I need you Lord, You are my only hope, you are my only friend......"
Would you please spend a few minutes in prayer... lifting up these daughters of God to Him, our HEALER, our comfort, our shelter, our fortress and our DELIVERER. Please pray for supernatural intervention. Pray for healing, for pain relief, for nausea to cease, for Care to remain healthy and strong and for Yordi to regain strength. Pray for God to be glorified and for many to turn to Him as they see His hand at work in this young girl's life. Please pray for favor with the paper that they are waiting on, that it will be processed quickly, that they will find favor with flights home, with comfortable seating, empathetic flight attendants as well as immigration/customs officers. Please ask the Lord to literally go before them and pave their way HOME. Pray for the children at home missing Mommy and pray for Daddy to overflow with grace and energy to meet everyone's needs while Care is away. The prayers of the righteous are POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE.
Will you stand with me in prayer for this PRECIOUS girl and her family?
please leave a comment to let me know you are praying... I am going to copy all of the comments in an email and send them to Carolyn in Ethiopia... I know it will keep her going!!
Love,
Holly